


Riding in Cars With Spies

by soufflegirl91



Series: Souffle's Choose Your Own Adventure April [4]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Humour, M/M, Tanner POV, does it count as unintentional if they forget you're there?, poor Tanner, unintentional eavesdropping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23635153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91
Summary: Whatever Bill did to get saddled with Bond and Q in a car together, he really, really wishes he could take it back.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Series: Souffle's Choose Your Own Adventure April [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691788
Comments: 20
Kudos: 161
Collections: MI6 Cafe Collections





	Riding in Cars With Spies

**Author's Note:**

> For #4 Felix’s Refuge: Write from a secondary character’s POV (not Bond or Q)

What had he done to deserve this?

Who had he annoyed in a past life? 

Hell, who had he annoyed in _this_ life?! 

Eve, probably. It was usually Eve. 

"I _told_ you to take a left!"

"And I told _you_ that if we turn left, we'll get stuck in traffic on the North Circular! This way is quicker." 

" _Quicker?!_ It's a bloody 20 zone, Bond!" 

Whoever it was, he had annoyed _someone._ It was the only explanation. Because here he was, stuck in a car with Bond and Q on the way to supervise a training exercise in bloody _Enfield_ , and they were in the middle of a lovers' spat.

"Well, if you _want_ to flag the number plate so that the speed cameras don't give us a ticket, I'll happily go _faster,_ Q!" 

"I can't just- just- turn off the speed cameras whenever I feel like it, James!" 

Bill sighed. He was pretty sure they'd forgotten he was even in the car with them. Q was usually much better at sticking to surnames when other people were around. He supposed he should be grateful that Bond still seemed to call Q by his title when they were off duty, but wasn't that just a _bit_ weird? Imagine calling out a _letter_ in the middle of-?! 

Aaaannyywaaay, the less said about _that_ mental image, the better.

"You _can_ , but you _won't._ You're a stickler for the bloody rules!" 

"Well _one of us_ has to be! You wouldn't recognize a rule book if it hit you in the face!" 

Should he cough or something? Remind them that he was here? No, better not. This was giving him an advantage in the office betting pools, and he wanted to make the most of it. 

"Bloody execs."

_Hey!_

"Hey! Just because you have a licence to kill for Queen and country doesn't mean you're above the law, you know." 

"How could I possibly _forget_ , when you keep reminding me?!" 

"Well if you will insist on blowing things up!"

"That was an accident, Q, and you know it!" 

Bill chanced a glance at his watch and muffled a sigh. Only another 20 minutes. He could do this. And _next time_ someone needed to go anywhere with Q and Bond, Bill would damn well make sure it wasn't him. 

Honestly, he might need _therapy_ , after this! 

"Do I, though? Because to _me,_ it looked like you weren't bloody listeni- watch OUT, James!"

Bond swerved to avoid hitting a pedestrian who had decided that looking at his phone was more important than checking the road, and Bill's life flashed momentarily before his eyes. Was this how he wanted to go? In a bloody car crash listening to Bond and Q bickering? Definitely not!

Maybe he should think about looking for another job? Weren't GCHQ trying to headhunt him recently? He should give them a call. 

"Jesus _CHRIST!_ I'd like to know what he's looking at that's worth dying for. Everyone's got a bloody death wish these days!" 

"You're telling _me._ I'm quite aware of your death wish, James Bond. You make it abundantly clear at every possible opportunity." 

"Q, for the last time, that explosion was an _accident_ ! I do _not_ have a death wish! How could I have a bloody death wish when I've got _you_?!" 

"...Do you really mean that?" 

"Of course I mean it. Why would I want to die, if dying meant leaving you behind?" 

Oh.

"I love you, too, James."

Oh _no_.

This was _so much worse_ than bickering. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Riding in Cars With Spies (Podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752591) by [soufflegirl91](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91)




End file.
